Rap-sody

“Have you ever heard an instrumental version of a rap song?”

Finally dropping off to sleep after being subjected to long droning hours of a neighbourhood house party featuring Drake, Ye, Future, Tupac, Nicki, Cardi - you know the list. Dream mode. Mack turns up.

“No, Mack. I’ve never heard an instrumental version of a rap song.”

“Well, neither have I. Don’t even know why they call it a ‘rap song’”

“Huh?”

“Yeah. ‘Rap song.’ It’s incongruous.”

“Meaning …?”

“A song calls for a melody. There is no melody in rapping. Therefore, it cannot be a ‘rap song’.”

“Okay. That’s logical.”

“And an instrument – barring the drum – requires a melody to be able to play an instrumental version of any vocal rendition. Ergo, you will never, ever hear an instrumental version of a rap song.”

“Just to be clear: we not talking about the karaoke version, where the vocals are removed, right?”

“Right.”

“Okay. Now. Don’t tell me: you have a solution to this incongruity, right?”

“Right again!”

“And what, pray tell, is this precious solution?”

“Call it a ‘rong’.”

“Say whaaat??”

“A ‘rong’.”

“Spell that?”

“R-O-N-G.”

“Hrrr … Clearly this is aimed at righting a wrong, right?”

“No. This is where ‘rong’ is right!”

“(Sigh …)”